Ann's Running Commentary

“Running Dark” – A Review 2

Posted on July 13, 2010 by Ann Brennan

For as long as I can remember, I have loved books. As long as the library is available to me this love of books is not a problem but, as a mom with a toddler, the library is not always available to me. As a mom with a toddler, I go to the library only for him and if I am lucky, I might be able to grab one of the “on display” books for myself. More often than not, I am not lucky. So, last year for Christmas, my husband bought me a Kindle. What a wonderful gift. Anytime I want a book, I push a button and within minutes it is delivered. But, there is a downside to instant gratification. I consume books. I devour books. Some women buy shoes, I buy books and it is an expensive habit. Very quickly I came to realize I needed a strategy.

I have learned to divide books the way I divide food in my pantry. There are the staples – pasta, canned tomatoes, spices, oils, nuts. And then there are the sweets. In books, the staples are my history books and my classics. These are the books that could take me months to get through thus saving my pocketbook. The sweets are the Nora Roberts, John Grishams, and Maeve Binchys. These are the books I sit down with and don’t move until they are finished. They are the books I take on vacation or pick up when I am under the weather. They take very little work to get through because they are all about the story.

So, when I was given the opportunity a few weeks ago to review “Running Dark” by Jamie Freveletti, I had my fingers crossed that it would be a sweet as opposed to a staple. I got my wish. A book whose heroine is an ultrarunner willing to risk her life to take on pirates? What more could I ask for? And to make the deal even sweeter? The book arrived just as I was walking out the door for a two week lake vacation.

As a writer, I often find the backstory to a book as compelling as the story itself. I love the fact that Freveletti came up with this idea before real life pirates hit the news. I love that she had to convince the publisher that pirates attacking a cruise ship was a plausible idea and was then proven right even as she was writing this story. As a runner, I love that her main character was not only a woman but an ultrarunning woman. I love that the book starts in the middle of the Comrades Marathon. But more than any of these things, I love that Freveletti has written a story that pulled me in in the very first sentence and kept me in for the long haul. I love that she didn’t bog me down with too much information about international laws, chemical weapons or the workings of a cruise ship but instead gave me the information I needed for the story and kept moving along.

In my pantry of books, “Running Dark” is a sweet. It is a book you can’t stick in your bag to read when you have a moment. It is a book you sit down with and know you will not be getting up until it is over. And better yet, it is a book that makes you want to go back for more. Luckily, this is Freveletti’s second effort. The next time I allow myself a sweet as opposed to a staple I will be picking up her first effort, “Running from the Devil”.

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Running Evolution 2

Posted on May 25, 2010 by Ann Brennan

Running, for me, has been an evolution. As I have grown and changed, my running has adapted, evolving with each phase of my life.

TrailMomma Puddle Jumping

I started running seventeen years ago because, frankly, I had gotten fat. Looking back, it is embarrassing to think about that time of my life. Though I started gaining weight in college, I gained the majority of it the year after graduation. It was a combination of being lazy, working in a job I didn’t like and spending a good portion of each day eating.

The week after I was married, I went to the doctor, stepped on the scale and got the surprise of my life. I was officially fat. Until that moment, I had been in denial – simply ignoring my ever expanding waist. That evening, I decided I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I decided to start running. Because I was so young, the weight came off as quickly as it had gone on. Within a couple of months, I was thin and well on my way to being fit.

After losing the weight, I continued to run. As a new runner I had started to read everything I could get my hands on about the sport. I came to realize that the health benefits alone were enough of a reason to continue running. So the evolution continued and I ran, as they say, away from the reaper. I ran away from heart disease, breast cancer, diabetes and so many other diseases caused by obesity.

As life continued both on the roads with my running and in our lives at home, the babies started coming, the work started piling up and the stress of real life started seeping into our lives. My running once again evolved. I started running after work before heading home to my children as a way to leave the stress behind me. I found myself using my daily run as a sort of therapy. I started thinking of it as something that benefited not just me but everyone around me. After all, I am a lot easier to get along with after I run.

Though I continue to run for fitness and mental health, my purpose for running has continued to develop. Fifteen years ago I joined a local running club and starting running their race series. I started running for competition – sometimes to compete with others but most often to compete with myself. Since that time, I have run trail runs and road races. I have run everything from 5ks to 50 milers. I have competed in marathons all over the United States and have even traveled out of the country for races. I love to have a goal – to know there is a race coming up and to aim for my best time in that race.

Until recently the competitive phase of my running was my favorite. But after turning forty last year, I have decided I quite enjoy the fact that running makes me feel young. It allows me to do things other forty year olds might not get the chance to do. I hope that it helps me to look a little younger than the next forty year old but beyond that I have come to realize that running lets me have the kind of fun most people my age have simply outgrown.

I go to our local park and run through the woods. If the path is muddy I don’t avoid it, I trudge right in and come out the other end covered in mud. On a rainy morning, a non-runner looks out the window and does one of two things, grumbles about the bad weather or thanks God for the water for their lawn. I look at the rain and rush as quickly as possible for my shoes. A chance to run in the rain, to splash through the puddles, to get soaked from head to toe is something that is just too good to resist. These mornings are just one more bit of proof that running is fun.

Life goes on and things change in our lives over the years, but even with the evolution my running has taken, the benefits have stayed constant. The pure joy it offers is always there. The health and fitness I have gained are still there. The feel of my legs floating over the surfaces, be it asphalt or packed trails, is still as great today as it was seventeen years ago. My running has evolved, but in so many ways it is the one constant I know I can always count on.

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I’ve Been Promoted 0

Posted on May 19, 2010 by Ann Brennan

Jack Bauer, Kate Austen and Ann Brennan – what do we all have in common? According to my sixteen year old son, we are all bad-asses. I am aware that Jack Bauer and Kate Austen are usually busy kicking ass and taking names and that I am not quite on that level, but apparently 40 year old moms are not held to the same standard as television heroes. For a while I was teetering on the scales of badass but those scales where tipped in my favor after this morning’s 35 mile ride in the pouring rain. That’s all it took to make my 16 year old son think I was one cool chick. Okay, not his words but I know that is what he meant.

And to think, I almost didn’t go out there this morning. I woke up at six and it was still dark outside. The rain and wind were pounding the house and I decided, before my feet hit the floor, that I would not be stepping out that front door. As though to reinforce my decision the window thermometer read 50 degrees. So, the new plan? Take the youngest to preschool and come back home and sit on the couch with my coffee and my latest Kindle purchase. A nice relaxing morning at home sounded just about right. At least, it sounded right until that little voice in my head said, “You are going to be stopped by a little rain? And you think you are going to qualify for Boston this way?” The voice won.

I dressed the littlest one for school, covered myself from head to toe in my best waterproof biking gear and loaded my bike on the back of the car. As I did this, I sent up a small prayer of thanks that the rain seemed to be slowing down. By the time I was walking my youngest into school it was hardly raining at all. Maybe I was being rewarded for my decision to persevere.

And then again, maybe not. The minute I pedaled away from the school the skies opened up and for the next two hours I was pummeled by the rain and wind. I was forced through puddles up to my feet on the pedals, and I was splashed by every car on the road. For the next two hours I went from praying that the rain might ease a little, to begging God to let the rain ease just a tiny bit, to raising my fists to the heavens and asking “Why, why, for Heaven’s sakes why?”

In the end, the rain did ease and I did complete my two and half hours on the bike. As I stood beside the preschool wringing out my gloves, I raised by fists once again, this time in triumph. I had not been deterred by the rain, wind and cold. I had not turned back when the puddles became lakes. I had persevered. It wasn’t easy but I realized while I was out there, that I didn’t sign up for this marathon training because I was looking for easy. I signed up because I wanted to push myself.

I didn’t set out today to become a bad-ass. But apparently that doesn’t matter to a sixteen year old boy. What impressed him was the stream of water that continued to flow off of me even after I had finished, my pruny, purple feet that had been marinating in my biking shoes and the buckets of water I poured out of those shoes at the end. What mattered to him and what really tipped those scales in my favor is the fact that I was out there in the rain and wind and cold pushing myself while most mom’s were home having their morning coffee. I hadn’t taken the easy path. Next time I wake up to the sound of rain and wind, I will probably still pause before heading out the door but, for fear of losing my “Badass Status,” I know I will do it all over again.

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The Dungeon of Solace 0

Posted on May 05, 2010 by Ann Brennan

My husband calls it the dungeon. It’s dark and a little smelly. We pulled up the carpet because the dogs spent too much time down there when they were small and we have never gotten around to painting the walls after pulling down the hideous wall paper that was there. It is the last place any one in the house wants to spend time but for six weeks this winter, as I was recovering from a ruptured plantar fascia and three feet of snow covered our local bike trail, it became my sanctuary.

For the first time in my eighteen years of running, I decided marathon training was not an all or nothing proposition. Yes, I was injured. But that didn’t mean I had to sit on my butt losing the fitness I have spent so long building up. Instead, I carved out a place for me in our dungeon of a basement. I set up my Cyclops and took “The Baby” from the rack in the garage, cleaned her up and lovingly placed her in front of the television. I surrounded her with water bottles and towels for wiping away the sweat and then I rummaged through our video collection pulling out all of those movies nobody ever wants to watch – the true chick flicks.

For six weeks I made my way down to the basement each and every day. Sometimes for an hour while I watched Disney movies and kid’s television programming with my three year old, sometimes for a couple of hours while my teenagers joined me in watching their favorite thrillers but my favorite times were the three and four hours I spent on Saturday or Sunday morning with the forbidden chick flicks.

I had expected it to be boring. I had expected to dread that bike. Mostly I had expected to miss the roads and the sound of my feet pounding the pavement. But this time, having made the decision to make the most of the situation, it was actually fun. Each day before I would head down I came up with a plan based on how my legs felt. There were some long slow rides that numbed the mind but I was able to battle the boredom for most of them. Working on intervals based on a movie’s theme was quite fun – speeding up for the exciting parts, slowing down for the dialog. Setting timers on my phone that went off every 5, 10 or 15 minutes reminding me to change my speed, increase my resistance or come out of the saddle, helped me to stay on track instead of losing myself in the plot.

Riding in the dungeon won’t replace the rides through the tree lined trail near my house. It won’t replace the feel I get from a good hard run along the river. But it is comforting to know the option is always there. To know that I don’t have to go insane waiting for the roads to clear or the foot to heal, to know that I am not losing fitness while I recover, feels good. For the first time in all these years of running, I can pat myself on the back a little and congratulate myself on making the wise choice for recovery. I could take credit for that, but I won’t. I owe it all to my Cyclops and our dungeon of solace.

Originally published in the BicyleLab’s Newsletter

The comments application seems to be broken but I would love to hear your thoughts on my post. Please email me at BrennanAnnie@me.com

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Advice For the New Runner 1

Posted on April 27, 2010 by Ann Brennan

Every couple of months I get an email or telephone call from a friend, a different one each time, asking me to please help motivate their spouse, friend, neighbor or sometimes just themselves. By the time they call, the motivation is usually not needed. The person they are calling about is almost always motivated but usually lacks the confidence to jump into a routine. For the next week I usually spend several days emailing back and forth with the newbie, answering questions about shoes, nutrition, running programs, and ways to stay motivated.

I am not a coach. I am not an expert. So, why do these people call me for help? Well, let me be completely honest with you. When they first started calling almost ten years ago, I believed they were calling because they had told there spouse or friend, “Hey, if Chubby Ann can do it, then so can you.” I haven’t been Chubby Ann for a while, so I feel confident enough now to say, they call me because I am one of the most committed exercisers they know. I have been a runner for 18 years and I love it. But beyond the love, it is how I identify myself, and it is how others think of me. I am their running and fitness friend.

I received another of these calls this morning. A friend is considering completing his first marathon but doesn’t know how to get started. We had been emailing back and forth, with me saying many of the same things I have said for years, when suddenly it hit me – Maybe I should write these things down for people who don’t call but are interested in getting fit, running their first 5k, 10k or even marathon. So, here goes. Everything I think a newbie to fitness and running should know to get started.

1. Shoes and Clothes – Buy your self a good pair of proper running shoes from a real running specialty store. Have them fitted for you so you know you are getting the right ones for your size and your goal. Running in your old tennis shoes or even a pair of running shoes that you bought ten years ago, is the fastest way to sabotage a new fitness routine. Clothes? The same thing. Make sure you get technical gear that looks and feels good, not the three sizes too big t-shirt that you got for free when ordering Christmas presents for the kids three years ago. By purchasing these things, you not only make sure you don’t chafe and blister before your new sport becomes a habit, you also make a financial commitment to the idea of getting fit.

2. The first mile is always the hardest – It literally takes our bodies a full mile to warm up to the optimum temperature for exercise. People say to me all the time, “I can’t run a mile.” My answer is, “But you could run two.” If you get yourself past that first mile (walk it if you need to), then you can be a real distance runner. Even after eighteen years I always take the first mile slowly. I let my body reach its optimum temperature and then I speed up.

3. Get a goal – Not a “I want to wear my skinny jeans” kind of goal. That goal will be met easier if you have a race or walk in your calendar, one you have actually signed up for. Make it something that is doable but is a little bit outside of your comfort zone. If you have never run more than five miles, qualifying for the Boston Marathon might be a little tough, but running a half marathon three months from now is completely doable – if you have a plan.

4. Get a plan – There are running programs everywhere. Running clubs often have different groups competing in different events throughout the year. Join one of these and make friends while you get fit. If you can’t do this, then go to www.runnersworld.com and look up training programs. Once you have the plan, make it a priority. Schedule the runs, based on your program, and stick to them.

5. Have fun – This is the one most easily forgotten tip. If you are not having fun while you are running, you will probably not keep doing it. Having fun while running is easier than you might think. The trick is to remember that fun is part of the goal. Look for things you enjoy. Listen to music, dance wildly at stop lights, sing out loud, run through the woods, jump over puddles. Run, like Phoebe on Friends, like you are a kid again. Whatever it takes to make it fun, do it. You will not regret it.

I am sure there are other tips and hints but these are the first ones I always give. If you are an experienced runner and have additional tips, add them in the comments section. If you are a new runner and have questions, ask them there too. I am not an expert but after running for so many years, I have probably come across the answer somewhere and if I haven’t, I have lots of running friends who are always willing to help a new runner.

The comments application seems to be broken but I would love to hear your thoughts on my post. Please email me at BrennanAnnie@me.com

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A Certain Strength 0

Posted on April 21, 2010 by Ann Brennan

After months of illness and injury, I am on a comeback and I have to admit, comebacks are not all they are cracked up to be. A year ago, I was in the best shape of my life and felt more confident about my running than I had ever felt. This year, though, having taken off a good deal of the spring to recuperate, I have found myself doubting. Was I really that fit? If I was, is it possible to be there again? And if so, is it worth all of the work it will take?

In the past few weeks, my progress has been slow, my workouts have been tough and there has been some form of pain in every run. Any joy I had found in running in the past seemed to have been buried under that cloud of doubt. As a marathoner, I have learned to fight through walls. So, I pressed on. Each day, I laced up my shoes and headed out the door in search of that joy.

This past Sunday, I found the joy again but with it came something I had forgotten about. There is more to running than joy. On Sunday, I headed out the door for an easy ten mile run. I wasn’t sure how I would feel. I wasn’t even sure if I could complete it, but I headed out anyway. The first five miles I ran with a seed of doubt in my mind. When would this run fall apart like so many of the others. At the turn around, I noticed though, that the pain in my foot had stopped. I actually felt good for the first time in months but, more importantly, I had found the answer to my doubts. Suddenly, as I was heading back home, up three miles of steady hills, into a headwind that would make even my sister swear, the cloud lifted and I knew I could finish the run. And there was the answer I had been searching for. It isn’t just the joy that comes with running, it is the strength.

There is a strength that comes with running, not just a physical strength but a mental one. After having trained for and run marathons for the past thirteen years, I have gained a strength that makes it all worth while. The strength comes in the knowledge that, yes, I can run ten miles. Hell, I can run 15, 20 and 26.2 miles. There is a strength in that knowledge. Because if I can do that. If I can put in all of the miles it takes ahead of marathon day and I can put in the 26.2 on race day, if I can push through the pain that comes with all of those miles, then I am unstoppable. If I can do that, then anything is possible.

I am on a comeback. Every step will not be easy but that isn’t the point. Now, that the cloud of doubt has cleared, I know that every step will lead to a renewal of that joy and a building of that strength. And that is what makes it all worth while.

The comments application seems to be broken but I would love to hear your thoughts on my post. Please email me at BrennanAnnie@me.com

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Worth the Climb 1

Posted on April 07, 2010 by Ann Brennan

After a winter filled with injury and illness and missing my first two marathons of the year because of it, I found myself sitting very snuggly on what my mother calls the pity pot. I had lost so much fitness. I couldn’t run as fast or as far as I had last fall. I had gained weight. I was at the bottom of the spectrum for training and I knew exactly how hard it would be to work my way back to the top. For the first time in almost twenty years, I seriously thought about giving up on the fitness thing. Without the time I put into working out and training for marathons, my house would be cleaner, I would be more organized and I might even find the time to write more often.

Luckily, I have surrounded myself, both physically and virtually, with inspiring people. People who are in the midst of their spring marathons, training for their summer triathlons and registering for their fall marathons, but still finding the time to encourage the other athletes around them. With their encouragement, I took a deep breath and stood up from the pity pot. I strapped on my running shoes and reminded myself that anything worth having is worth fighting for. Life is an uphill battle. We can either stay at the bottom and be miserable or we can start climbing.

I choose to climb. The first step of my climb always begins with a goal. This year’s goal is to finish the Marine Corps Marathon in under four hours. To be honest, this has been my goal for quite some time. Though I haven’t gotten there yet, each year I get a little closer. I am only seven minutes away and this is the year.

So, I climb. Instead of sitting on that pot, I get up each morning with a plan, with a way to take that next step. Some days I feel like I am climbing a mountain, but having done this before I know what to expect. Having climbed this particular hill, I know that there will be weeks when I feel like I could scale Mount Everest and there will be weeks when I feel like I can’t possibly take another step. I know that there will come a time when all I want is for the race to hurry up and be here already and I know that once the race is here and gone, I will be aching for the next one. Most of all I know that when I cross that finish line I will have accomplished something that most people will never accomplish and all of the work I put in will be worth it.

Each step I take between now and October 31 will get me closer to my goal and further from that pity pot, but the best part of this climb, is the feeling it gives me, the strength I find within myself and the knowledge that I am in charge of my health and fitness. The knowledge that the harder I work and the more steps I take up that hill, the more my body will give back to me. And all of this, the training, the pain, the hours taken from other ventures each week, the race itself, all of this or any one part of this is far better than that pity pot.

The comments application seems to be broken but I would love to hear your thoughts on my post. Please email me at BrennanAnnie@me.com

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The Last Marathon 0

Posted on March 12, 2010 by Ann Brennan

Every summer, as I repeatedly wake at five to head out for my long run before it gets too hot, as I chafe every conceivable part of my body, and as I carry my running shoes with me on vacation so I don’t lose any fitness, I tell myself that this will be the last marathon. As fall approaches and my joints begin to ache from the hours spent on the roads, I find myself repeating this mantra over and over again. I say it with conviction because I believe it. This will be the last one. I will train for shorter distances and focus on speed work and resistance training. The shorter distances will be easier on my body. I tell myself that I have nothing left to prove.

During the sixteen weeks of training, I repeat it to myself and anybody who will listen. Their reaction is always the same, a slight shake of the head and a smile that says it all, “Sure, just like last year’s and the year before that and the two that you did the year before that.” Still, I repeat it on race day as I wake three hours before the race to get dressed and fueled.

It is not until I am standing in the crowd of anxious runners, waiting for the gun to go off, that I change my mind. That is when I remember what I love. It certainly is not the twenty-six-point-two grueling miles, the pains in my joints, or the chafed spot just above my bra line. It is the other runners.

Within minutes of arriving at a marathon, they are milling about, tying and retying their shoes, applying Vaseline to all the pertinent spots, and talking to each other as they wait in line for the port-a-potties. The first-timers and the oldest veterans are the chattiest.

The first-timers talk to salve their nerves. They ask questions and are impressed with the seasoned marathoners, whether veterans of one or fifty marathons before this one. They just want to personally know someone who has made it mile by mile, finally crossing that finish line. They want to know that it really can be done.

The older guys, the true veterans of the sport, are chatty because they know it is just for fun now. They chat with the first-timers to reassure them, encourage them on a quest they may have started thirty, forty, or sometimes fifty years before, but they are really there to be with the other old-timers. They reminisce about the good old days when they finished the race an hour faster than they do now, or when the race was run on a completely different course.

The rest of us are quieter. We have been here before but we still believe we can be faster. There are better days in us yet. Marathoners are friendly folks, so we will respond if approached, but those of us who fall in the middle are a little more circumspect, a little more focused. We are ready for the race to begin, and we still believe it is a race.
These people are part of the reason I come back every year, but the rest of the reason is that I know there is a gem in this crowd. There is one runner who will entertain me with his or her life story. Over twelve marathons I have never failed to run with one of these gems for a good portion of the race. Like a good book they share their stories. The beginning of a marathon reminds me of Christmas morning, as I stand at the starting line anticipating what the present will be this year.

Louise was running her twenty-second marathon when I met her. She started marathoning when her husband was in hospice. As she sat beside his bed, they watched the London Marathon. Louise, who had not even been a walker before then, told her husband, “I can do that.” He told her to go ahead and do it. That very afternoon, she laced up a pair of sneakers and headed out for a run. Her husband died before she ran the first marathon, but she didn’t quit training. He believed she could do it, so she did.

In one race I impersonated a therapist to some degree, as a woman poured her heart out to me about the new man in her life. He was ten years younger and wanted to get married. I listened for more than an hour as she discussed all the cons of their relationship and none of the pros, then advised her to follow her gut. I saw her almost eight years later. Unfortunately, she had taken my advice, followed her gut and was now divorced. I do feel bad for her but part of me loves the story I got out of it, loves having been in on her private thoughts more so than even her future husband.

Over the years I have run with pregnant women trying to squeeze in one last marathon before mommyhood changes their lives forever. I have run with men whose wives are sitting at home with a newborn, seething because he just spent four months training and is now going to be out of commission on the parent front for the rest of the day. I have run with people of every shape and size and I have shared an experience with them that most of their spouses will never share. I have heard their stories and listened to their secrets and their hopes. I have watched them struggle and watched as they crossed the finish line in triumph.

These people, over all of these marathons, are to blame for the looks I will receive from family and friends next year, as I once again swear I will never do this again. But I forgive them, because these are the people who have pulled me through twenty-six-point-two miles – and over those very same finish lines.

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My New Love 0

Posted on March 01, 2010 by Ann Brennan

I have recently found a new love online. The Daily Mile is a fitness journal and social networking site for runners and athletes. When I joined it I was looking for a place to keep track of my mileage. I have tried fitness logs for years but found them to be time consuming and not very effective. I knew that I needed someone else to do the work for me. With the Daily Mile I put in my mileage or my time spent lifting and the program keeps track of it for me – showing me how much time I have spent working out each day, week, month and year, allowing me to see patterns in how I workout. I knew I would love that part of the program before I signed up. What I didn’t know was how much fun it would be to follow like minded athletes or the support I would get from other runners or even how nice it would feel to be able to encourage other runners who are struggling through a workout. The social aspect turned out to be a real surprise.

Last week several of the runners began posting before and after photos. You can see the photos over at RunBlogger. Looking at these pictures as they came across last week, I was amazed at the way people have been able to change their bodies through exercise. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a bit of a “fitness freak.” I am the girl who can’t stand to miss a day of some form of exercise and the girl people can’t stand to be around if I have missed a day. Even so, I don’t think I realized until the pictures started coming across my desktop exactly how much it makes a difference to be physically active.

When you go to RunBlogger and look at the pictures, you will notice the weight lost, the muscle gained and the physical improvements overall, but take a minute longer to look at each picture. Notice in the before pictures a darkness to the faces, the lack of a smile that makes it all the way to their eyes. Notice their surroundings, what they are doing in the pictures. And then look at the after pictures. Look at the smiles that light up their whole face. Notice their surroundings, what they are doing now instead of sitting still. Notice the confidence you see in each person in their after pictures.

This confidence is something most of the runners did not expect. They may not have even noticed they were missing it before. But it is the confidence they gained through running and exercise that is the real change. The confidence doesn’t come just from losing the weight, looking good and feeling good. It comes from knowing that they were the ones that did it. It wasn’t some fad diet or some protein drink that got them to this point. It was hard work. It was getting up everyday with a plan to get moving and putting that plan in action even when the workouts were tough. Most of the runners and athletes on Daily Mile achieved their transformation through training for a 5k,10k or even half and full marathons. And for these runners it wasn’t just crossing the finish line that gave them the confidence you see in those pictures. It was the months of training and hard work that lead to that point. It was in discovering exactly how far they can push themselves and how much they can overcome.

So, I do have a new love. I love the Daily Mile, not just because it is a great place to keep track of what I do, but because I am rewarded everyday by the other runners I encounter there. Their hard work and the confidence they have built through the hard work shine through in every entry. And it is their confidence that allows me to see mine.

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To Endure Injury 3

Posted on January 25, 2010 by Ann Brennan

The life of an endurance athlete can be excruciatingly difficult but not for the reasons most people would think. It isn’t because of the long hours spent covering insane distances. It isn’t because many of us have to wake before dawn to put in those miles. It isn’t even the pain from the overuse injuries we endure. No, these are things we can handle. They are par for the course, worn as badges of honor by endurance athletes.

The difficult part, the part that guts every endurance athlete without exception, is the forced rest – the days, weeks and sometimes even months following an injury when we are told we cannot run, bike or even swim. These are the days when we wish we had never found the sport. Because knowing how great it feels to be out there on those roads before most people are even out of bed, knowing how incredible it feels to cross that finish line after running fifty miles, knowing how great it feels to push ourselves beyond the limit, and missing those moments is absolutely gut wrenching.

And knowing that for the most part it was something we could have prevented had we just listened to our bodies, makes it all the more difficult. As endurance athletes, we often know when an injury is coming before it is even a niggle. We feel a twinge in the knee or the foot and we can tell you which tendon that is. But we justify. “It’s just that my right hip is a little sore so I am compensating. If I concentrate, I can strike just right from now on and that left ankle won’t be a problem.” Or, “No, it’s not really an injury. I can run through this.”

The problem is that we can run through it. We have built a pain threshold that most people can’t understand and often we can run through the pain, sometimes to a point where it seems to disappear completely. To be fair, half of the time, we are making the right decision. Half of the time, we can work on our form and keep an injury from fully developing, or we can keep running, warm the muscle up and never feel the pain again. But when we are facing an actual injury, it is hard to give ourselves a break. We kick ourselves for not listening to our bodies at the first sign. We kick ourselves for not calling the doctor and getting it checked out.

When we are injured, everything we know about ourselves as endurance athletes is questioned. Maybe we are not as strong as we thought we were. Maybe we will not be able to get back into condition like we have in the past. And the worse, maybe we were just being a baby. Maybe the pain isn’t quite as bad as we thought.

This is the one that does us in. This is the one that has us putting the supportive boot aside and just testing ourselves a little to see if we can run. And this is the decision that takes us from three weeks without running to six weeks without running. We are endurance athletes. We push ourselves. It is not just what we do, but who we are.

As I sit here writing this, my right foot, securely ensconced in a protective boot, is propped carefully on the stool under my desk. A bottle of anti-inflammatory and a large glass of water sits beside my computer. Today, I am lucky. Today, the pain in my foot is horrendous. I tell you, as only an endurance athlete can, that the pain is a good thing because today is a speed workout day. Today is an important run in my marathon schedule and diagnosis or not, without the pain, I know the temptation to test the foot would be too strong. I know that the minute the pain stops I will start mourning the marathon that I am sure to miss while this foot heals. And I know that instead of remembering that rest and recovery is my job right now, I will remember the joy of being on the roads, the joy of losing myself in the sound of my feet slapping the pavement and the joy of completing another marathon.

Being an endurance athlete is difficult but it is what I have chosen to do. So today I remind myself, as I sit here twitching with the desire to be out there doing what I do, that it is through our struggles that we discover our strengths. And so, I struggle with this enforced rest. I am an endurance athlete and I will endure.

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