Fit Before Fifty
Age never bothered me. Afterall, it beats the alternative, right? Well apparently, that's not right. Apparently, turning 49 is the exception. On friday I turn 49 and I am FREAKING OUT! The funny thing is I am not sure I realized why I was freaking out until this morning.
For a few weeks I have been playing with the idea of restarting my YouTube Channel with a new series on getting fit before fifty. I was inspired by Debi Vincent at Active Body & Health. Although Debi started her journey fit, I loved that she celebrated this milestone by documenting the year. But then this morning, as I was recording the video I remembered one of the first videos I ever recorded for YouTube. I was fit and healthy and happy. And I saw why I was freaking out. The difference between then and now is shocking to me.
Only a few months after shooting this video, our family started our sludge through depression. That time remains the hardest time of my entire life. I almost didn't make it through. And it was the beginning of my weight gain. I blamed the initial weight gain on antidepressants. I took no responsibility. Then I started running again in 2014 and started training for another marathon for the end of 2015. During that marathon I injured my back and realized running was right out. Add ten more pounds. Then, I headed into early menopause, yep, hormones. Again, not my fault. And this year I had a cancer scare. The resulting hysterectomy added even more weight.
These days I look in the mirror and I hate that person with a hate that is unreasonable. I don't look at her and see the mom who loves her family. I don't see the woman who started a successful business. I don't see the mental health advocate. I see a fat slob and I hate her. No, it's not fair. Yes, I know this and I am trying to be kind. But being kind to myself is far harder than being kind to others.
This year that needs to stop. This year, I need to be kind to myself. I need to take the steps to take care of myself. That's why I am working on my own Journey to Fifty - Fit Before Fifty. Please follow along. Please cheer me on and help me remember to be kind to myself. Please give me your tips and tricks and remind me that I am still an Ironman. If I can complete an Ironman, I can get fit again before I turn fifty. If I look fit, great. If I don't, remind me to be kind to that woman in the mirror.
Here's the first in my new series of videos, Fit Before Fifty. Please subscribe and keep an eye out for a new video each Monday.