Songs That Make Me Cry

You might expect the songs that make me cry to bring up memories of lost love, teenage angst or tragic events in my life.  Of course, there are a few of those that make me sad but until this week I have never known a song to make me cry.  Until this week I would have laughed at the thought that Drunken Lullabies by Flogging Molly would be one of those songs.

As it turns out this was the week I grew tired of putting on a brave face.  I miss running.  I miss it with all my heart and would give up most of my marathoning experience just to run an easy three miles again.

Running Playlist

This was brought home this week by an accidental playing of my running playlist.  One of the kids picked it off my ipod and had it playing in the car.  It's filled with fast paced songs to get me through my marathon. It is actually my running list, turned marathon playlist.  And it is full of all my favorite running songs.

Still, that song. Oh how it ripped at my heart.

Maybe if it were another song, a song I hadn't listened to on my all-time favorite run through Boston, maybe if it were Peace Sells which is also on the playlist but wasn't there on that gorgeous spring morning in 2011.  Maybe then my heart wouldn't have broken.  Maybe then I wouldn't have wanted to sob into my coffee. But it was that song. The song I listened to just before Blaise headed out to run the Boston Marathon for the first time. The song I finished the run with, cruising by other runners like they were standing still, feeling stronger than I have ever felt.  It was that song that made me stand taller, feel stronger and faster than I knew I could feel.

There are days I can put on a brave face, but this week, listening to that song, I cried.  I cried for a lost love.  Bigger than any loss I felt as a teenager, bigger than I have felt outside of death.  Oh, the loss of running.

Don't get me wrong, tomorrow I will bounce back, but today I cry.  I cry for my the lost love of running.

RunningAnn BrennanComment