Pulling It All Together

Next weekend Blaise and I will be heading to Virginia Beach for Blaise’s next marathon. I have written about how amazed I am at my husband’s dedication in the past but what I find most enviable about his dedication is his ability to pull it all together.

I tend to be best at focusing on one aspect of my running. Sometimes I focus on getting all of the workouts in. Sometimes I focus more on my diet and nutrition needs. And sometimes I put all of my focus into getting enough sleep. But I seldom pull all three areas together at the same time.

Blaise does this every season. His dedication to his goal is so strong that he finds a way to take these three areas of his training season and hold them together throughout the entire season. In Blaise I find this to be impressive. In myself I find it to be selfish.

Although I did manage to pull it all together and focus on nutrition, sleep and training throughout my Ironman training, I cannot think of one other race in which I was able to do this. And even then I wrote Allowing Them To Sacrifice which was about allowing myself to be selfish for that one season.

I have a very difficult time dedicating myself so completely to my training. When I look at my schedule for a marathon or a triathlon, I think about the hours it takes away from my family. The same can be said for focusing on my sleep. If I go to bed early I feel as though I am leaving family time for the comfort of my bed. It feels very selfish. And even with diet and nutrition I find it hard because I buy less food and spend far less time in the kitchen preparing big meals for the family.

Logically I know that all of these areas are also good for my family and sometimes, for short periods I pull it all together. But inevitably I eventually slide back. I feel guilty and I let it fall apart again.

With Blaise’s race looming I can see the benefits of putting all the pieces in place for a race. I know that his race next weekend will be successful because he has planned it that way and truthfully I am jealous. I want to do the same thing. I want to be as dedicated. I want to let go of the feeling that I am taking from my family and remember that by dedicating myself to my health and fitness I am being a better wife and mom.

How do you let go of the guilt? How do you pull it all together?