Monday morning I threw on a running skirt, a sports bra and my favorite new Pearl Izumi running top and I headed out the door for a run. About a mile into it I realized something was different. I was feeling something that I have not felt in almost five months. I was happy. I realized I was running down the road with the biggest, goofiest grin. Not only was I happy but also I had really wanted to run that morning. I had woken up ready to get out there and get a run in.
This might not seem like a big deal but one of the first questions they asked at the hospital was whether I had lost interest in the things I usually like to do. And I had. I had lost interest in running, biking, swimming, lifting, even writing. I had lost interest in life. And suddenly, as I was running down the road with my big goofy grin, I realized how much I had missed wanting to run. I realized how much I had missed just feeling happy.
I understand this is just a light at the end of the tunnel and there are still a lot of dark days ahead but I made it to the point where there is hope. I am no longer hopeless. I no longer believe there is not an end in sight. Instead I know there will be a day when I am back to the old Ann.
Here’s the video I took just seconds after I realized that I was well and truly happy. Enjoy.
If you cannot see the video, please try refreshing your screen.