Not the Fat and Happy Sort

Whale Watching 008For two years I have slowly put on a pound here, half a pound there. Although it was slow, it did not go unnoticed. But, the last time I lost weight it was sooooooo (continue that for a few pages and you will get the point) hard. I had to think about every little bite of food. I had to add extra workouts and work harder than I had ever worked before. (Read about that journey here) Could it really be worth the effort? Really?

For two years I decided that no, no indeed it was not. After all it was only a pound here, a half a pound there.

Then when I started really training for Ironman I did not want to think about it. It was too much to train for this incredibly life changing race AND have to worry about my weight. So, I stopped stepping on the scale and the truth is I didn’t gain anything. I mean, who could possibly gain weight while training 16+ hours a week?

The problem arose after Ironman. When I stopped working out as much but kept eating like I was. Boy oh boy is it easy to pack on the pounds with that combination. But, having gotten out of the habit of stepping on the scale I was able to deny that it was happening. Nope, not me, I am definitely not gaining weight.

Finally last week after deciding that it was really unreasonable to think that every single piece of clothing I owned had shrunk, I stepped on the scale and lo and behold, I had gained weight. – close to a thousand pounds. Okay maybe not a thousand pounds but you understand how it can feel that way, right?

Now what? I mean, losing weight is so freaking hard. Do I really want to take on this challenge? Couldn’t I just be fat and happy?

Of course not. And the truth is I am excited about this. Not about the thousand pounds but about the transformation. About seeing the weight drop because I am taking charge of my eating and eating has always been the problem.

Before, as the weight was slowly creeping up and I was so afraid of the work it would take, it was the work that I thought of. I didn’t think of the end result. I didn’t think about how good it felt to be in control, to watch the numbers fall each week, to put on a new piece of clothing bought as a reward for losing five or ten pounds. I didn’t think about that feeling you get when you look in the mirror and realize that it was your hard work that got you here. So, now I am thinking about that.

I know it will be hard, but that’s okay. I am ready for this and I really am not the fat and happy sort.

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About Ann Brennan

Ann Brennan is first and foremost a mom of three beautiful children. She is the managing editor of Beyond Limits Magazine and the creator of Ann’s Running Commentary. In 2012, Ann took Ann’s Running Commentary to new levels – first with a segment on the RunRunLive Podcast, chronicling her journey to her first Ironman and second, with a new channel on YouTube. Currently Ann is working on a non-fiction book series and working hard every day to remind people to get up, get active and get out there.
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3 Responses to Not the Fat and Happy Sort

  1. While I really don’t “struggle” with weight, about once a year I decide I’ve consumed a few too many beers and ice creams and need to lose a couple of pounds. From the instant I start focusing on losing, it seems to be even harder to do so. I have an appetite and already have to make sure I’m eating 6+ servings of veggies a day lest I snarf down an entire pizza.

    The best advice I ever got was from a fellow ultrarunner. He said, “There’s nothing wrong with going to bed a little bit hungry at night.” Not skip a meal, but eat a little and then flee the table/kitchen. A lot of us are used to eating until we are quite full, and you really don’t need to do so. I find it easiest to do this at night because once I’m in bed, I’m not going to get up and raid the fridge. During the day I don’t have a prayer.

    Good luck Ann!

  2. Chris says:

    I am with you on this. I exercise, but I eat more than I work off. I have finally come to realize you can’t outrun your diet. I am working this week on a plan to turn that around so that my eating matches my workouts so that the 20 pounds I gained last year comes off. I’m not the fat and happy type either.

  3. ormondrm says:

    This was my hardest lesson to learn about running and losing weight…you won’t lose no matter how much you run unless you pay attention to diet. I still haven’t controlled the healthy eating part yet, but have slowly made changes in the past two weeks and I am seeing small, very, very small results. Good luck Ann!

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