I woke up this morning with one thing on my mind – a run in the rain. I wasn’t looking forward to it in the sense that I knew I would enjoy it. Indeed not. Instead I knew that this run would be miserable. It is cold out there and I knew I would come home drenched and frozen through. I knew that I would need to sit on the couch with a cup of hot tea, covered to my chin with my favorite West Point blanket for hours before the chill finally left my bones. But I was looking forward to the run nonetheless.
I was looking forward to it because I have had a tough training season so far. I spent almost three weeks recovering from a back injury only to follow that up with an unexpected week off because of a virus. So I have felt like a slacker. This mornings run would be my vindication run.
But even as I lay there, thinking about the run, psyching myself up for my badassery, I heard Zane stirring. It was an uncomfortable stirring, a little moan, followed by a grunt, followed by a cough and another groan. And I knew. I would not be running today.
I went in and felt his poor little warm head before crawling under the covers and holding him until he could wake up more fully. The rest of the morning has been spent trying to coax medicine into him, holding his head in my lap and mourning the loss of yet another run.
Fitness is important to me but I am a work-at-home-mom with the emphasis on mom. Today I am a take care of my boy mom. I am a feed him and hold him and make him feel better mom.
That doesn’t mean I don’t regret the missed run. I do. And there is part of me that thinks maybe, just maybe, I can sneak it in when Megan gets home from school, sometime between practice and homework. Maybe as the chicken roasts in the oven I can head out for at least a few miles to prove that this will not be the season that wasn’t.
But most of me knows that sick days are just that – sick days. And today I will move very little. I will cuddle with my boy, hold his head to relieve some of the pain and tell him how much I love him. Today is not a day for badassery. It’s a day for be the kind of mommy my boy needs.
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